“If something can go wrong, it will.”

My father will tell you that living by Murphy’s Law is a way of life for him. He is the man that hits every red light on the way to the emergency room. If there is one object  precariously placed in a room upon which one may hit their head, he will surely hit it. He will find that one sheet of ice in the driveway, and will have the bruises or backache to prove it. He will miss the nail and hit it his thumb every time, and he will always pick the shortest line in a grocery store, only to wait, and wait, and wait.

My sister will tell you this is hereditary for she has shared in my father’s “bad luck: for most of her life. I, on the other hand, did not understand the full impact of Murphy’s Law until I had children.

If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.

  1. If you have something fun planned — a vacation, a night out, a day at the spa, etc. — one or more children will most definitely get sick.
  2. If you prepare a lovely feast for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, or just a special gift to your family, someone will spill something (and it will usually land smack in the middle of a heaping full plate, causing you to throw the whole thing out).
  3. If you buy something new (a toy, a vase, a plate, a shower curtain, a lamp shade, an electronic device), it’s only a matter of time before it gets broke.
  4. If you dress your child up, expect a stain on their attire before you reach the destination of the special occasion that required you to dress them that way.
  5. If your child (this applies to all those with little boys) wears a new pair of pants/sweatpants to school, they will come home with grass-stains or holes on/in the knees.
  6. If you clean it — rooms, bodies, dishes, clothes — they will come … and mess the whole thing up.
  7. If you answer it (a phone of any kind), they will come … and interrupt you.
  8. If you are in the bathroom, an crisis will occur — someone changed the TV channel, rolled their eyes at the other, or God forbid, called them a jerk — and you will have to intervene (most likely before you have finished your bathroom business).
  9. If you cook it, someone will surely comment in the negative, with variations such as  “Ew,” or “I don’t like it,” or “That looks gross,” or “It smells funny.”
  10. If someone picks up a rock, or a bat, or a stick, or a really solid toy, someone will get hit with it … and they will bleed!
  11. If you say “No,” they will ask “Why?” and probably do it anyway.
  12. If it comes out of your child, you will surely step in it, put your hand in it, or have it spewed all over your clothes and in your hair.
Stay tuned … I’m sure I will have some more after an upcoming vacation with my kids.
Got a Murphy’s Law of Parenting to share? Please leave a comment below.